Touchpoints and Personal happiness

Yesterday I was in an old graveyard wandering around with baby in carrier on front , husband to talk to whilst our boys climbed merrily in old churchyard trees ("Mummy I'm Lord Horatio Nelson!" "I am a piwate ARRGH!") They were busy and didn't need me hovering over them . Walking between the gravestones we spotted a Mopoke sitting on the edging. I found after a quick Google that it wasn't ill, it was defending itself. By sitting still and closing it's eyes. That's the defence mechanism. Pretend you aren't there and hope everything will go away. Needs work if you ask me although to be fair I have had moments like that myself except I call it an anxiety disorder! Gentle wandering in the Winter sun, children climbing trees and playing rowdy imagination games, random Mopokes, being with family these things have a very soothing effect for me and I found the whole thing very rejuvenating.
I tried cutting down on calories last week this did not have a soothing effect on me. It's a switch that makes me feel extremely deprived and hangry* I don't do well with feelings of deprivation or low blood sugar so I stopped it. I would rather feel content and tubby quite frankly, as long as my health is good. So Sunday morning I baked pumpkin gingerbread and chocolate granola, bread and biscotti. This also has a soothing effect.
Yoga has a soothing effect for me, all that breathing and stretching and gooey feeling calm. I am not going to go to an Ashram but everytime I get back to the smallest amount of Yoga I feel content and calm and it's like coming home to myself, even a few minutes has this effect.
My beloved likes to pop on the headphones and listen to some Youtube-d music for a good while or play with an old car.
It's a great part of growing older and wiser, getting to know yourself, what bits are really you and what can be discarded. Getting to know my own personal happiness touchpoints is a great step in a positive direction (although if there has to be Mopokes it could be tricky).
I think that we all would benefit from taking the time to observe what actually soothes our soul, the things that genuinely bring the warm flow of happiness into our hearts. The results can be surprising. What are your personal happiness touchpoints?
*hangry is of course being so hungry you feel angry.

The Dreaded Mini Break or Facing your Demons!

© Snowturtle http://www.dreamstime.com

About two years ago I thought it would be great to make the trip down to Hobart which is a good two hour drive away and booked a Bed and Breakfast so we could have a bit of an explore.
Sounds fine.
We had two children then boys aged four and two-ish.
It was not fine.
 Not fine at all. It was Hell on Earth. The whole experience left my dear husband traumatised. Sometimes I would talk about doing some more overnight stay explores, his face would become ashen and a terrified whisper would escape his lips "You mean.. a mini-break?". So there were no more mini-breaks.

Until mid last week I was looking at all the Roller Derby bouts going on in Hobart and whinging about missing out. Suddenly he said "Why don't we go down then?" he knew it meant staying over-night. I didn't over-think and booked a room (a queen, two single beds and an ensuite) for a reasonable rate online and bought some bout tickets.
We had a pretty good time.
We survived. We will do it again. I will share the comparison of the two experiences:
 The children are older so slightly easier to wrangle (even though we have a bubby she can always be breast fed into submission or sleep if the worst strikes).

This time we encouraged them to bring toys and books, they actually packed their own bags. last time we had one toy each. This was really foolish in hindsight.

It was our plan to look at Hobart on foot. Two and four year old boys don't have the same appreciation of a Victorian Gothic revival or Georgian facade as we do. Apparently. Who would have thought? they express their lack of interest via tantrums. So do things that children like too. With ours this involves eating and roller derby which luckily are two of my interests. An honourable mention goes to @taniafordwalker. She is a person from twitter and surprisingly exists in real life as well whom I managed to convince to go to roller derby only to receive an onslaught of my children which she took with good grace, it also kept my boys entertained. Apparently harassing people is a hobby of theirs now.

They also need to run around a bit.

Pack snacks. This time our nearly five year old started eating the decorative kale as a protest when we wouldn't go to EVERY cafe we saw. I figured this wasn't my problem and at least he was eating vegetables. The council would probably replant the kale soon. But I had plenty of snacks as well.

Remove the minibar from the room as soon as you check in. We didn't last time. So ermm sorry about that who ever tried to eat those sort of squished Snickers. Luckily they didn't have minibar snacks this time.

Make sure you consider their sleep foibles. Last time the boys were small. They slept top-to-tail in a single bed with a rail to stop them falling out. When we satyed at the b & B we put them in their own rail-less single beds. Cue small children falling out of bed loudly onto the floor and then crying. Repeatedly, ALL NIGHT.  
Did I mention Hell on Earth?

 I tried with our bub this time round, I put her in a travel bed on the floor but she kept waking up because she couldn't roll over in it and then I would put her in our bed and she would want to feed so my sleep was sort of rubbish (parenting is such a learning experience, also there is a lot more poo than I would like) but we survived. We will do it again and we will be even better at it!

It seems like a small thing but somethings need conquering before you can move on.
Another tip, if your sensitive six year old says they feel sick STOP IMMEDIATELY and get them out of the car. OK?

Linking up with Rachel at The VI Blog for The Lounge this week!

VAGINA and dinner etiquette.

Ah the delights of having boys is really striking home lately. I didn't think that my gender caused that much of a divide between the majority of my in house family but I find I am more and more baffled by their behaviour and lately the sense of humour.
I am not big on fart jokes, give me an horrendous Carry On or Benny Hill style joke any day but farts aren't funny to me and it has been declared that this is "Because you are a girl". I also  don't feel the need to turn everything into a weapon and beat things nor do I fall over sniggering at the word Bum. My loss I suppose. 

The other day at dinner I had cause to correct my eldest son when I was feeding the baby and her chunk of banana was lost in her lap

 "Mummy it's near her china."

Her what?

"Her china, you know her lady-nuts." *snort!* (aside: I do not think that nuts means what he thinks it means)
Me:"Oh you have the word wrong, the word is vagina."

"Near her Pa-china lady nuts"
Me:"No vagina v-v-v."

Interjection from their father "Or hoo-hoo in polite company.""
Me; "When are you going to be talking about genitals in polite company?!"

Both boys: "VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!!!!VAGINA!!!VAGINA!!"
Me: "We don't really talk about vaginas or penises at the dinner table.
Baby *eats banana messily*
Both Boys: "VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA PENIS VAGINA HOO!"
Me: "Sigh, I guess we will just have to ride this one out.
Dearest husband: "Giggidy!" *

As the boys are four and six I expect I have many years of delightful conversation of this calibre ahead. I would love to hear about your surreal dinner table conversations even if there weren't as many vagina references! What's the weirdest conversation your children have lead you through?



* This is a Family Guy reference I sincerely hope you get.

What is the Dull Roar Philosophy?

What is the Dull Roar Philosophy?

I have three children, two boys currently four and six and a baby girl who is six months. Combine this with running (and expanding) a business with my beloved, an enthusiasm for cooking and a blindspot when it comes to housework and things get interesting.
That's why I examine things against my Dull Roar Philosophy. It's not about perfect organisation. It's about keeping the chaos down to a dull roar. I am not one for organisation. It's really boring for me, I didn't sign on for marriage and motherhood to devote myself to arranging children's belongings and unfortunately my younger son has inherited a more severe form of Pig Pen syndrome which I suffer from so having a spotless house and scrubbed clean children is never going to work.
Here's a few things I do to keep things down to a dull roar.

• Multi-tasking errands, a trip to the market forms part of the food shop and is exercise and entertainment for the family. 
• Feeding the children raw vegetables when they are watching television. Television is excellent for promoting mindless eating so if healthy food has been low and they are watching TV I give them carrots. tomatoes, beans etc.
• Teaching the children to do the housework. This is in the first stages but they are nearly as good as me. This doubles as entertainment for a few minutes. They like vacuumming and unpacking the dishwasher best at present!
• Older child reads his daily school reader to the family for the bedtime story.
• I make custard in the Thermomix often for breakfast, this sounds counter-intuitive but with an egg and rapadura instead of sugar and served with frozen berries in is a wholesome start to the day and the Thermomix does all the work!

So I try to get the most bang for the least buck (or effort). And try to keep the chaos down to a dull roar.
I think it's kind of sort of working!

When Your Guru Wears a Blue Bear Suit.

So, my children are obsessed with Pokemon at the moment which seems to be an excuse to be rather violent towards one another, indoors on a rainy day (yes it's a horse race public holiday) and in an effort to stop this I bribed with a homemade icypole suggested that they might like to do a Yoga Bear DVD to help calm them.
Naturally the promise of any kind of food inner peace once they had completed the DVD compelled them to roll out the Yoga mats.

Here they are preparing to be walked through a slightly psychadelic yoga routine by an accomplished Yoga instructor who is wearing a fluffy blue bear suit (be warned the SITE IS BRIGHT). Yes Sir Chatsalot appears to be wearing a blue tie-dyed stocking on his head, no I don't know why, but it seems on theme.

Seconds after this picture was taken I heard wails from the living room
 "Mummy he kicked me!"
 "Yeah but they was only because he WASN'T DOING YOGA PROPERLY!!!!"
"Now precious pets, that's not really in the spirit of yoga is it?Now sit back down and breathe deep, or no icypoles".

45 blissful minutes without fighting or screaming later we hear "It's finished! Now we can have an icypole" from Sir Chatsalot to which his ever surprising 4 year old brother replies, "No, now I want a new car."

Yoga, upping the stakes AND bringing you peace.

The Bum Wiping Cake and Other Tales

A mentioned in my last post our four year old is a character. He came running to me full sob- tears plopping off his red face- yesterday because the cat had eaten his salmon sandwich whilst he had left the sandwich to see what the noise was- he thought it was Zombies. Lesson learned, take your sandwich with you when you check for Zombies.
I found out the other day he has been calling one of the carers at day care fat so I apologised on his behalf and found he has also been congratulating her for wearing her not insubstantial breasts "Oh good, you're wearing your boobies today!".
I have also mentioned that one of his current little quirks was a failure to attend to his hygiene as he should. Yes I am talking bum wiping. He didn't. I think it may have started because his arms were too short to reach but then it started getting stupid. No details (I don't want to be a poo blogger...)but needless to say something had to be done so I asked him what to do. His answer was swift and decisive. He wanted a cake. Actually it's his standard answer for most things and not always appropriate but I saw a chance for some blatant food bribery here  a reward system for appropriate behaviour. Anyone who thinks that food shouldn't be used as a reward doesn't live with my family but is welcome to take over proceedings to show me a better way, they can also clean my house whilst they perfectly parent the children. Anyway, enough of my defensive rant, back to the cake. It was decided that yea verily, every day he wiped his backside would be recorded by putting a chick pea in a baby food jar and once there were ten he could have a cake. It took two and a half weeks but we are there! He was so excited to make a marble cake with me using the Thermomix he was shaking with excitement like a little Chihuahua (I did mention he really likes cake right) It looks a bit odd, I can't ever seem to get the marbling right.

 So feast your eyes on the Great Bum Wiping Cake and some Iced tea in an old seventies Tang bottle  a vintage jug and I will try to forget the name whilst I eat it!

P.S. I couldn't hack the dairy free thing, I also got hideous Gastroenteritis three days in and the baby wasn't any less or more windy either way so I thought "sod this" and ate some cheese.

Reluctant Earth Mama

Today I found myself in the kitchen whipping up a dairy free milk substitute (here's the recipe from Quirky Jo) whilst breast feeding the baby who is in her sling. Very Earth Mama. I didn't sign on for this though. It looks like I am the latest victim of dairy intolerance. Did you know that intolerances often pop up post partum? I did not. I am not pleased. It may be something to do with the immune system recalibrating after being suppressed during gestation. 
This is grim news for me. I was so delighted I could now eat the gorgeous local soft cheeses I had been denying myself whilst pregnant.Baby is windy when I do and I really don't feel good either. Maybe after two weeks there will be no difference and I will go back on the dairy but in the mean time I am eliminating it. I already know I can't deal with most soy. So making my own substitutes is where it is at. 

Breastfeeding the baby who hates to be away from (reluctant Earth) Mama was something that had to be done to get some peace whilst I faffed in the kitchen. Kitchen faffing is extremely hard to do successfully with screaming children about. 

Cute right? hmmmmm

My four year old is a free spirit at the moment, if by free spirit you mean he doesn't like to wear knickers, wipe his bum, have his shoes on the right feet and touches everything he sees even if it is on the ground and disgusting. Especially if it is on the ground and disgusting. Most notable today was the rotting remains of a rat. Funnily enough I carry a little bottle of germ warfare handrub and some wet wipes everywhere now. I may have to start with a full hazmat suit!

Ah the umm joys (?) of parenthood or something.....

Keeping it at a Dull Roar

I have to try to balance things carefully at the moment, they are really going well enough but at the back of my mind is a lurking awareness that it could all fall in a screaming heap what with the newborn, recovery from pregnancy and birth, two boisterous sons, a business to keep going, rental properties to try to rent and manage, blogging, trying to stay healthy and unstressed oh and a predisposition towards  anxiety and depression.
It's a challenge but it is going OK so far. Multitasking is the bomb right now. Breastfeeding and blogging, breastfeeding and meditating, breastfeeding and paying bills, breastfeeding and sleeping. Bubby goes in a sling which allows a bit of batch baking (biscotti, fruit bread, gingerbread). walking to the markets gets me exercise (for health and mental wellbeing), keeps the boys entertained and bubby soothed and the shopping done. Housework has always been minimal but I have found that many tasks only take 5 minutes and you can fudge some (sweeping the carpet under dining table when I do the kitchen floor anyone?). So far I haven't done more than 15 minutes at a time but Yoga is very important for my stress management and strength. I have found that the boys like to eat vegetables in front of the TV whilst I am making dinner, this suits me, if their appetite is spoiled it is spoiled by vegetables and makes me feel like I am trying to keep them as healthy as possible. They like to snack on frozen corn kernels and carrots as a rule and even ask for them if I don't hand them over but cherry tomatoes, cucumber and red capsicum go down well as well. 
I am tired now but honestly our little girl is pretty good at sleeping for a tiny girl so I am not complaining!

The sun pops out periodically and that makes things easier and lets be frank the odd Pizza doesn't go astray either.
I wonder what thrifty tips you could give me to make my life easier for now?

Mumbling along as it should...

We have had a breakthrough here at Apple Isle Cottages.
It is in large part due to a book called Divas and Dictators by Charlie Taylor, a great book about behaviour modification techniques, specifically his 6 to 1 principle of using six pieces of praise to every one of criticism when dealing with your child and I am astounded how quickly his techniques are working.
We have not been having fun lately with two very demanding little boys but they have responded so quickly to the heaps of praise and specific treats that life has become easier in just a couple of days. Huzzah for Mr Taylor we say!! Some of what he suggests is forehead smackingly obvious, or at least it should be but that doesn't undermine its worth at all.
Today the boys "helped" me cook a fresh stripy heirloom zucchini from the garden, our first! Master Me Too (16 months) is very passionate about cooking and resents not being able to see the cooking action or take part in it.
Sir Talk A Lot (three years old) has been delighting us with his counting prowess, his little brother copies everything he does and has been found poking his finger at the counting book saying "two, two" in an adorable effort to be just like his brother.
The boys had a wonderful time being totally rapt in watching Nigella's Express and Gardening Australia today ... they really enjoy their gardening and cooking- I hope this sticks, I think it is so important for kiddies to enjoy "real" things like cooking, working the garden, fixing, cleaning, creating etc rather than things I consider "unreal" such as video games and obsessions with following (but not necessarily playing) sports.
When the boys were bathed, read to and tucked in bed I fossicked some compost out from the heap and fed the zucchinis, beans, pumpkins, borage, potatoes. I added some more scraps and comfrey to the heap which is breaking down well.
I had fun pruning some vigorous non fruiting "poky outy" bits of the wild blackberry bush we are taming out the back. I have picked enough for my first batch of blackberry jam now which is good as we are on the last jar of strawberry I made earlier in the year.
The library always provides us with wonderful treasures and apart from the Charlie Taylor book I am also reading a lovely little book called "four Tenths of an Acre" by Laurie Lisle which is an absolutely delightful read about the evolution of her garden and experiences of life.
Aren't Libraries wonderful?
I hope for many more days like today....

And So It Begins

First of all I would like to formally welcome you all to my first blog which is likely to be of no real interest to anyone but myself so if you happen to take the time to read it I am most gratified and hope it warrants any attention you may bestow upon it.
I have a busy life, not busy like most people's, no social calender, no office to trudge to every day, but busy with a new small business, two small children, a tumbledown house in a new state and the beginnings of a vegie garden messing up the long neglected back yard.
My long suffering and much adored husband and I moved from Sunny Queensland Gold Coast to Launceston Tasmania in January of this year and so I guess we are about to celebrate our one year anniversary in Tasmania.
We don't like waste here in our house and that is reflected in how we live our lives. Food and garden scraps are composted (food only after it is offered to the peculiar little Devon Rex cat who chooses to reside with us). Things are bought second hand where we can which is not only cheaper but means I don't feel guilty when I stain or break something and has the knock on effect of being better for the environment. To some it may seem I am an environmentalist at first glance if I am truthful it is our dislike of waste that has lead to our life style being of benefit to the planet and not a feeling of obligation to reduce my carbon footprint.
There, that feels better- what a confession- I am not a ramapant greenie, I just happen to act like one!
I of course bear no ill-will towards mother nature and am very fond of the beauty and bounty she supplies but it hasn't been my only motivation in changes I have made in my lifestyle.
We repair things when we can and repurpose things in a new way if we can.
I was always amazed at the amount of perfectly good things thrown out in the Gold Coast council cleanup- such a wasteful community up there- we have found Launceston is less like that and people are more understanding of a our mend and make do attitude.
I sound very pious and wholesome BUT I will confess that I struggle with things like keeping the house and garden in a reasonable state so I have invented my own philosophy-
The Dull Roar
it is basically an attempt to keep our heads over water domestically.
I will never have a display home clean home- even if it was just me I'm a grubby little devil who likes doing grubby things like cooking and gardening and the house would never stay clean and i also have two grubby little children and a much cleaner husband who also has grubby hobbies like renovating and repairing cars and don't forget the cat- did you know that dark Devon rex cats sneeze dark tears everywhere?
I do however recognise that a certain level of social responsibility and cleanliness is required so I am trying to work out a plan to keep the mess and rudeness down to a dull roar...
So far..
* Set the fabulous vintage kitchen timer to 15 mins and do something to help the tidiness and cleanliness. Washing pots and sweeping the floor, wiping benches generally takes less time than this.
*Time savers- food in the freezer for the boys day care lunches
-teaspoon of generic brand nappysoaker in the loo overnight to be flushed away in the morning.
-spraying the floor and cleaning with a damp towel (pushed around by my feet!) instead of mopping which never really worked.

hopefully I will build up a repertoire which will allow me to get on with running our business and doing the fun frugal stuff I enjoy, cooking, making my own salves, vegie gardening, newly interested and converted to jam making, make my own bread (use a cheaty machine- how I love it!)making my own yoghurt, cutting my boys hair (actually only one of the boys is fun to do haircuts on the other is tooo hoppity) making yoghurt....

I am looking at ways the Dull Roar Philosophy can be applied to other parts of life too...