Thursday, April 4, 2013

VAGINA and dinner etiquette.

Ah the delights of having boys is really striking home lately. I didn't think that my gender caused that much of a divide between the majority of my in house family but I find I am more and more baffled by their behaviour and lately the sense of humour.
I am not big on fart jokes, give me an horrendous Carry On or Benny Hill style joke any day but farts aren't funny to me and it has been declared that this is "Because you are a girl". I also  don't feel the need to turn everything into a weapon and beat things nor do I fall over sniggering at the word Bum. My loss I suppose. 

The other day at dinner I had cause to correct my eldest son when I was feeding the baby and her chunk of banana was lost in her lap

 "Mummy it's near her china."

Her what?

"Her china, you know her lady-nuts." *snort!* (aside: I do not think that nuts means what he thinks it means)
Me:"Oh you have the word wrong, the word is vagina."

"Near her Pa-china lady nuts"
Me:"No vagina v-v-v."

Interjection from their father "Or hoo-hoo in polite company.""
Me; "When are you going to be talking about genitals in polite company?!"

Me: "We don't really talk about vaginas or penises at the dinner table.
Baby *eats banana messily*
Me: "Sigh, I guess we will just have to ride this one out.
Dearest husband: "Giggidy!" *

As the boys are four and six I expect I have many years of delightful conversation of this calibre ahead. I would love to hear about your surreal dinner table conversations even if there weren't as many vagina references! What's the weirdest conversation your children have lead you through?

* This is a Family Guy reference I sincerely hope you get.


  1. LOL my Mr 4 says China instead of Vagina too. It's only recently dawned on him that I was the only one in the family without a penis, so I had to explain it to him.

    When I was pregnant with Mr 4 had to explain to other two how the baby was going to come out because they started asking questions. I told them the truth. They looked completely horrified. Figured the next question was going be how the baby got there in the first place,but they must have been traumatised enough and didn't ask further questions. Phew.

    Mr 9 recently asked me what a prostitute was, after apparently hearing it on THe Big Bang Theory. Wasn't sure what to say so I got out of it by saying it's not something a child needs to know, and luckily he said "Ok, I'll find out when I'm older."

  2. Yep. That's the stuff. I get away with "It's a complex physiological process I will explain when you are old enough to comprehend it." as Mr Six is a smart Cookie who isn't easily fobbed off. Raising boys is interesting!

  3. LOLOL! My little girl says 'gina or china too. The other day she had her doll up her dress and said "I have a baby in my tummy and it's going to come out my GINA!"

  4. It's a great word to say LOUDLY. Try it Now!