Sunday, July 28, 2013


I am woken by a baby wanting an extended schmoozy breast feed and cuddle and I ensure I make a double shot cappuccino for myself and beloved before our boys bring their own brand of energy to the party. I keep the espresso machine in the en suite so I am not pounced before the caffeine hits my system. Have you tried to steam milk with an excitable 4 year old asking difficult questions when you have not yet had a coffee? It's terrible. So coffee machine in the loo it is then. 

Sometimes I am berated soundly for having incorrect breakfasts on offer, sometimes there are meltdowns because I insist apparently unreasonably that Mr Free Spirit wears shoes, or a jumper or knickers to school, or that he goes to the correct school (kindergarten is only three days a week) Sometimes his older brother sobs because he expected a different jam on his crumpets or I wouldn't give him four crumpets. 

But not today.

 Today they are mounting an expedition to Everest. So turning up at the table with Crash helmets on and backpacks stuffed full of (apparently) icepicks and oxygen tanks, they happily ate their porridge and muesli.  Sir Chatsalot has a new picture atlas he carries nearly everywhere he goes (one never knows when one is going to need a reference book handy) and seems to have absorbed the relevant Everest details. Round blue eyes stare at me with excitement as they wave plastic mallets around.
I get asked about Everest and feel very inadequate with my hastily thrown together answers about altitude sickness. I frequently feel inadequate around my curious children. 

Sir Chatsalot stares at his porridge asks why steam always comes from food that has been microwaved in Winter. I try to explain that it was to do with the relative temperature of the room and that heat rises but this isn't good enough.
"Why does heat rise?"

"It's to do with thermodynamics."

"But why? How does thermodynamics work?"

"It's to do with gravity of the substances...and their atomic and molecular structure."

"But gravity is on the ground...are atoms in space?!"

"Yes well, umm it's really hard to explain without a background in physics and chemistry kiddo."

"Oh......OK....what do you mean by a background in physics?"

 He is six.

Turning to our ten month old baby who I feel will be more on my level I tell her, "If you want more of my porridge you need to give me the spoon back." Which she does without hesitation.

Sir Chatsalot continues eating his porridge and says to me thoughtfully,"Mummy, I am more clever than you and Daddy about a lot of things aren't I?".

Maybe kiddo, maybe.

This is why I have a coffee machine in the loo.

This post is written for the Blogfast Club, a blog challenge link up with the lovely Kate Says Stuff


  1. Love this! I struggle with the questions my two lob at me constantly, especially questions about pocket money before I've fully woken up. I hope the trip to Everest was a success.

    1. Yes questions before I am awake are the worst! It seems that going to Everest involves more hitting things with plastic mallets than I ever imagined!

  2. I love the coffee machine in the loo idea! That is pure brilliance

  3. Ha ha thank you, feel free to use it to help maintain your own sanity-spread the word!

  4. I am not a coffee drinker, but OMG totally understand feeling inadequate around curious children!

  5. I think they must be getting smarter, I am worried that by the time the youngest is six I will be completely outsmarted as well as outnumbered!

  6. Oh this made me laugh. What a precocious clever little man.

    I love and loathe the impossible questions. Live that they want to learn, loathe that I have no good answers for them quite often!

  7. Ha ha yes he is precocious, often correcting his stupid parents and other random adults much to my horror! His little brother found it hard to get a word in until recently and now is following in his footsteps.Oh the questions!